


Dynamics

by Tim (boywonder)



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-16
Updated: 2011-01-16
Packaged: 2017-10-14 20:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boywonder/pseuds/Tim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the 3 Ships 2010 challenge.</p><p>James T. Kirk is the man who has everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dynamics

James T. Kirk, captain or otherwise, had never been much for relationships. He was more of a wham, bam, thank you ma'am (or, on occasion, sir) kind of guy. He liked it that way. It was simple, and no messy emotions got involved.

So if he'd been asked how he wound up in a relationship with not one, but _two_ different people, he probably wouldn't have been able to answer. It had just…happened. And, somehow, he liked _that_ , too. Maybe the things they'd been through together really had made him grow up some.

Not that he'd say it like that himself.

It hadn't started as a _relationship_ , per say. He and Bones were just…easy. He hadn't pegged Bones for the kind of man who liked other men. But Bones was surprising like that. Anyway, he was _James T. Kirk_. Who _wouldn't_ want to be with him, right? It wasn't all that strange that Bones was attracted to him, in the end.

It had started out as a fling, just like everything else Jim had ever really done. They got drunk, ended up in a bed together. But it wasn't weird in the morning, like it ought to have been by Jim's calculations. Bones told him something, half-mumbled, about how he didn't do one night stands. Jim hadn't taken that seriously at the time, figuring they'd been drunk anyway. And they'd just…moved on with their lives. At least, until it happened again.

 _That morning_ had been a bit harder.

\---

"Damnit, Jim, I can't keep doing this," Bones said, rolling out of bed and pulling his boxers on.

Jim could feel a headache starting in his temples, and wasn't in the mood for talking. Or for class. Or for much of anything, really. But Bones had that _I'm not fucking with you, kid_ tone going on, which…could mean trouble.

"That whiskey was your idea, not mine," he said, making light of the situation. He was being obtuse on purpose; conversations about feelings made things get _awkward_. Bones was his best friend, and he didn't want things to get all weird. What was wrong with just sex, anyway?

"Jim, this isn't who I am. This is who _you_ are. You crawl into whatever bed you feel like, drunk, sober, who cares. I…I don't do that, damnit! You got a pretty face and a pretty mouth, but I can't…" He sighed, heavily, and trailed off. "I don't want to be your fuck buddy."

Jim groaned and pulled himself up into a sitting position. "Aw, c'mon, Bones, you know it's not like that. You're the best friend I have! So I spent a couple nights in your bed, I don't get what the big deal is."

"Of course you don't get it! You're James. T. 'fuck anything once' Kirk. You think I don't hear the rumors about you? If I didn't know you personally, I'd be running tests for at least five communicable diseases right about now, for one thing. And for another thing, you don't want to get your damn _feelings_ all mixed up in it. I get that. But I'm already a divorced man with a heart of stone. I don't need some doe-eyed pretty boy ' _best friend_ ' waltzing in and out of my bedroom because he didn't get lucky with some busty waitress that night."

 _Jim _gaped_ at Bones. He didn't understand where the switch had come in. He had the feeling that this time, he was being obtuse on accident. Bones was saying _words_ , sure, and…they were flying right over his head._

"Wait a minute, you think I slept with you as a _second choice_? I don't sleep with people because they're second choices, Bones. And I sure as _hell_ didn't come back to your room because I wasn't getting what I wanted. _You_ were what I wanted! Last time and this time! So, now that that's out of the way, can we just-"

"Damnit, Jim, you're not listening to me! I ain't just here for you to get off with. I can be your friend, and I _will_ be your friend. But if I ain't more than that, then I want you to stay out of my bed, you got it?"

Jim's face scrunched up in confusion. It was either too early in the morning or the sun was too bright for this conversation to make any sense.

"Wait, Bones, are you suggesting that I _date_ you?"

Bones leveled his gaze at Jim. His face was as serious as ever, and he looked just as put out as he did when Jim was doing something he disapproved of. Jim felt something he didn't recognize knot itself in his stomach, and had to pull his own gaze away.

"Oh, come _on_ , Bones, you're not serious."

"I'm not as young as you are, and you know that. I don't feel the need to climb into bed with just _anyone_ , drunk or otherwise. And I don't really care if you do that, you're young and proud, I get that. Just…don't do it with me."

"Bones, if you want some kind of _exclusive commitment_ …"

"Even I thought you were a quicker study than this, kid. I'm not asking for rights, I just want to know this actually means something to you."

Jim could see that the weight of Bones' confession was a heavy one. He'd never imagined that Bones actually cared about him as more than just a friend. The revelation was one he wouldn't have been able to handle with anyone else.

But with Bones, it was…easy.

"Of course it means something to me, Bones. You're…probably the only real friend I've _ever_ had." He laughed, a bit nervously. This was new territory for him, but it wasn't as repellant as he'd once thought it might be. "I mean, I don't know that I can promise I'm not going to run off with some blonde waitress some night, you know, but…"

"If you want to be in my bed, Jim, you better make sure it's my bed you come home to."

Their eyes met again, and Jim finally understood. Bones wasn't asking him for miracles, or for commitment. He wouldn't have been able to give that. But this, well, he could at least _try_ it.

He smiled, and Bones found the corners of his own mouth twitch upwards in spite of himself. Jim's smile was infectious, after all.

"Yeah, all right, Bones. No matter what else happens, I think I can manage to find my way back to your bed at the end of the night."

"Don't you fuck with me, kid, or I'll-"

Jim stood up, not bothering to pull the sheet up with him, or to find his pants. He'd never been really big on modesty.

"Bones, I'm not fucking with you. I mean it. I can't give you promises or mushy shit, but I can give you _something_. I mean, unless all that was just the hangover talking, in which case, I'll just awkwardly put my pants on and slink back to my bunk."

"How long do you think you can really keep this up? Look, it was a long night, I'm asking a lot from you, and…"

"Bones," Jim said, raising a hand and putting two fingers on his friend's mouth. "Stop arguing and kiss me."

Bones shook his head and pulled Jim close to him. "Damnit, Jim," he said, but the words didn't have their usual bite to them. Jim smiled again, and learned that kissing Bones while sober was way better than kissing him while drunk.

\---

Jim and Spock were…anything but easy. There had been tension between them from the moment they'd met, and it wasn't the good kind. Jim was good at pushing Spock's buttons, without even really _trying_. He'd started off on the total wrong foot with the Vulcan, and if he'd never met the future version, he probably would have just kept on going that way.

After meeting the older Spock, though, and feeling what he'd felt in the mind meld…he hadn't been able to stop wondering if the younger version was anything like the older. Pushing Spock to admit emotional compromise had been hard on him, too. It wasn't just that he couldn't stand up physically to an angry Vulcan (or half-Vulcan, whatever). It was that it hurt him to say things like that. He could sling insults with the best of them, but he'd crossed a line on purpose, and he'd found himself being _sorry_ for it later.

It was days after the first time that Spock called him "Jim" that he realized the Vulcan had forgiven him. He hadn't had any time to process _anything_ during the crisis. Afterwards, the world stayed crazy for awhile. It was only when he was back on the ground, waiting for whatever punishment he was sure he was going to get for blatantly disobeying orders, that he even realized Spock had said his name.

He hadn't expected the captaincy, after that. Hell, he hadn't expected to even be allowed to continue on in Starfleet. But "his" crew _was_ responsible for saving the world. And Pike had vouched for him, over and over again, like he'd been doing since the beginning.

 _He also hadn't expected Spock to come back onto the _Enterprise_ willingly, and offer to be his Number One. That was when the realization fully set in that Spock wasn't holding some kind of grudge against him._

\---

They were standing on the Observation Deck, in silence. It was something they'd started doing early on. Jim came up here to stare at the stars and to think. Spock came up here to…well, actually, Jim didn't know why he came up here. At first, he'd thought it was going to be a lecture. But Spock preferred to lecture him in public. In private, he was more likely to just stand there quietly, filling the room with his presence. When they weren't arguing, Jim found that the Vulcan's presence was actually really… _calming_.

"Why do you come up here with me all the time?" Jim asked, once, finally unable to keep his curiosity in check.

Spock blinked at him, and tilted his head very slightly. Jim was pretty sure that was the head tilt that meant he was missing something obvious. But it might have just been the head tilt that meant Spock was surprised by the question. Vulcan body language was pretty hard to read sometimes.

"The reasons for my actions are not always the same, Captain," he said, mildly. "Today, for instance, I thought you might simply enjoy the company."

Jim stared at him. He had some sort of weird deja vu feeling, like he'd been in a situation like this before; it was a feeling like he was just _missing_ something.

"You know, don't you think Uhura would enjoy your company a bit more?" he asked, unable to be entirely nice about it.

Spock's lips pursed just slightly, but other than that, his facial expression didn't change. "Lieutenant Uhura and I decided that our relationship was better kept as it had been before our first mission together. People in crisis react irrationally. It would not really do for someone of my station to be romantically involved with a subordinate."

Jim actually laughed. Spock was so _absurd_ sometimes. But…

"It's not like I'd rat you out or anything, you know."

"I am aware of your penchant for ignoring protocol, Captain, as well as your inability to maintain propriety. However, my decision with regards to Lieutenant Uhura had nothing to do with your ability to keep quiet about our relationship."

"Uh-huh," Jim said, not sure what he believed about that. He was pretty sure that Spock knew he wouldn't tell anyone. He didn't _care_. Anyway, technically he'd been sleeping with a "subordinate" the whole time he'd been Captain. He and Bones weren't very public with their relationship, but Spock was annoyingly observant. If anyone knew, it would be him.

"If I have misjudged, and you would like me to leave, then I will be more than happy-"

"I thought you hated me," Jim said, interrupting. "You know, at first I thought you only wanted to be on this crew so you could report anything I fucked up."

Spock blinked at him again. "At first?"

Jim shrugged, and looked out at the stars. "Yeah. But there have been at least three instances when I _purposefully_ refused to follow protocol. And I never heard anything back about it, after your initial warnings."

"I am not here to sabotage your captaincy, Jim," Spock said. Even Jim wasn't thick enough to miss the underlying emotion in Spock's voice. That, and he'd said "Jim" again.

Jim turned back to face the Vulcan. "You really meant it, didn't you? Only it isn't _me_ who's enjoying the company, here. It's _you_."

Something passed over Spock's face that Jim had never seen there before, even around Uhura. On a full-blooded human, he'd have thought it was embarrassment. On _Spock_ , he couldn't be quite sure. Did Vulcans even feel embarrassment?

"Perhaps this was unwise of me. If you would excuse me, Captain," Spock said, and he turned on his heel to leave.

"Spock, wait," Jim said, reaching out a hand, but not actually grabbing onto the first officer as he passed by.

Spock didn't answer, but he did stop and look back over his shoulder.

"Look, I…didn't mean to upset you. If you want to stay here, I don't have any reason to object to it. Actually, the opposite is true. I _want_ you to stay here for awhile. We don't have to be back on bridge any time soon, unless something happens. Since we're in warp, though, I don't think anything's going to go down that requires either of our immediate attention."

"Is there something else that you believe requires our immediate attention, Captain?" Spock said, and Jim was _sure_ that he was patronizing. Or teasing. But it had to be the first one. Vulcans didn't _tease_. Did they?

Jim wasn't one to bother being embarrassed or awkward, though. Maybe he was judging this wrong, but he really didn't think so. This time when he reached out, he let his hand rest on Spock's shoulder, and pulled the Vulcan back around so they were facing each other. He knew that he wouldn't be able to budge Spock if he felt like resisting, but that didn't stop him from trying. Spock obliged him, though, and turned easily to face him.

"I'm not real good at apologizing," Jim said, bringing his arms up to rest on Spock's shoulders, wrapping lightly around him.

"There is nothing you need to apologize for at present, Captain."

"I think I like 'Jim' better than 'Captain, coming from you,'" Jim said, smirking a little. He let his eyes meet Spock's, but he still couldn't read anything there. It was infuriating, but for once that wasn't a bad thing.

"I don't know if that's very appropriate, _Captain_. We did just have a discussion about the propriety of officers having relations with subordinates, did we not?" Spock's words seemed sincere, but he did nothing to escape Jim's embrace.

"Yeah, and we also had a discussion about how I don't really give a shit about that."

"Captain, I'm not sure that the Observation Deck is an appropriate place to continue this. Although, I do not think it would be wise for me to accompany you back to your quarters, either. Perhaps we should-"

"Spock."

"Yes, Captain?"

"Stop arguing and let me kiss you."

\---

Jim hadn't been sure how Bones would take it. He'd never really worried about things he did with other people. He'd kept his word for over two years now, doing whatever he liked and finding his way back to Bones when he was done doing it. They'd never argued about it. Hell, they'd never _discussed it_ after the initial "agreement," or…whatever it had been. But even Jim had the sense to know that he couldn't just keep Spock and Bones secret from each other. Anyway. he didn't play those kinds of games. It wasn't his _style_.

That didn't mean he had any idea what to tell Bones, though. Or even what to tell _Spock_. He'd gone over it again and again in his mind, but he'd come up blank. It was unusual for him, actually! He _always_ knew what to say and how to say it. But now that it mattered, he just…couldn't get with it.

It made him irritable for several days, and started to wear on the bridge crew.

Finally, instead of him going and talking to Bones, Bones came to him.

He was sitting in his quarters, going over some report that he wasn't really reading. He'd been on the same paragraph for about twenty minutes, and hadn't absorbed a word of it, when the door opened.

"I got a bone to pick with you, kid," Bones said, not waiting for a greeting. He wasn't really in the habit of feeding Jim's ego by calling him "Captain" unless it was necessary, but he only called him "kid" these days when he was pissed off about something.

"Hey, you know, I'm still the Captain. You can't just come in here-"

"I can do whatever I damn well please, and I'd love to see you stop me. You been storming around here for days like a kid having a tantrum, and I've had it. I don't have to put up with your shit on the bridge all the time, but it's not like I don't hear about it. So either something's going on in your head that I ought to check out as your _doctor_ , or you need to actually talk about it."

Jim sighed and leaned back in his chair. "So, what, you're my shrink now, too? Thanks but no thanks, Bones, I'll deal with it on my own time."

"You been avoiding me, Jim," Bones said. It wasn't an accusation, either; it was a fact.

"Now that's just stupid. Why would I _avoid_ you?"

"Well, I don't know for sure, but I got a pretty good guess."

Jim snorted and put his feet up on the desk. It was the best way he could think of to be casual. He didn't want to have this conversation here and now, or maybe _ever_ , and if he blew it off then maybe Bones would get fed up and storm off. Okay, so it wasn't the _best_ way to deal with things, but it was the way he was going to do it.

"Okay, Bones, hit me. What do _you_ think my alleged problem is?"

 _Bones crossed his arms and knit his eyebrows together. "For a genius, you sure are dumb as a stump sometimes, you know that?"_

 _Jim actually looked confused. "What the hell are you-"_

 _"You got your panties in a bunch over that Vulcan, don't you? Come on, kid, do you think I'm stupid? You think _Spock_ is stupid?"_

 _Jim forgot about his plan to look casual and sat up so fast he almost unbalanced his chair. "What? What the hell are you talking about?"_

 _"Jim, Spock already talked to me."_

 _Jim was quiet for a long minute, because he just didn't know what to say. All right, so it made _sense_. The _logical_ thing to do, from Spock's standpoint, would be to talk to Bones. That meant that Spock was _definitely_ aware of the nature of their relationship. So that was one thing out of the way. But…_

"Well why didn't someone _tell me_ that, goddamnit?" he all but sputtered in return.

"I figured _you'd_ come talk to me about it. But you got so worked up over what I'd say that you started avoiding me instead. Damnit, Jim, you never had this kind of problem before."

"Yeah, but-"

"What did you think was gonna happen? I was gonna tell you 'over my dead body' and fight you on it? I never cared what you did before, or who you did it with, so long as you weren't an idiot about it."

"Yeah, but, Bones, this is-"

"And even if _you're_ an idiot, that Vulcan sure as hell isn't one. He's not gonna do anything he thinks is inappropriate or whatever, not with you or anyone. Of all the people you could have gotten yourself involved with, he's probably the smartest choice."

"Bones-"

"You should have told me, though."

Jim sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose with one hand. "Yeah, look, I know, I just didn't know what to _say_. I mean, think of it from my standpoint, okay? I don't even _know_ what Spock and I are. Christ, I don't even know what _you_ and I are."

 _"We're the same thing we've always been. And you and _Spock_ figure it out on your own. Long as I don't have to hear the gory details of _how_ you figured it out."_

Jim laughed a little at that. Bones was right. He'd gotten worked up about it. It hadn't occurred to him before this that he hadn't wanted to jeopardize whatever it was he and Bones had. But there was something _about_ the Vulcan, too, and he hadn't really thought he could have _everything_. Sure, he was a lucky guy, but even he couldn't be _that_ lucky…

Except, apparently, he could be.

"I was gonna tell you, you know."

"Yeah, right, I'll bet you were. Don't really care much, it's over with. Now stop moping around and act like the actual _Captain_ instead of a whiny teenager."

"Damnit, Bones, I wasn't-"

"Stop arguing with me, kid."

Jim actually shut his mouth about the subject.

A few days later, he found himself back on the Observation Deck. After a while, Spock came to join him, customarily. A while after _that_ , he was surprised to hear the door slide open again. He figured it was ship business, but he figured wrong. Bones walked through the doorway and stood a few feet away.

Jim gaped at him.

"I got something on my face?" Bones asked. Jim just shook his head.

"Doctor McCoy," Spock said, nodding in Bones' direction. There was a tone there Jim hadn't heard him use with Bones before.

"Commander," Bones said, returning the nod. There was a tone in _his_ voice, too. Wait, had they become _friends_? When had that happened?

Jim looked back and forth between them.

"Is something the matter, Captain?" Spock asked, tilting his head to the side a little. This time, Jim was _sure_ he was being patronized.

 _"Yeah, _Captain_ , something wrong?" Bones asked. That was _definitely_ his patronizing tone._

 _Jim rolled his eyes and looked back out at the stars. They weren't in transit now, so he could actually see them clearly._

 _"No, Commander. _Doctor._ Everything's just fine."_

He didn't catch the glance that passed between Spock and Bones, but he didn't need to. He felt a smile work its way across his face. Maybe he really could have _everything_.


End file.
